two stories

8 Apr

This morning, very early, I woke up because my face was tingling like crazy. Crazy enough for me to grab at whatever was making it do that and throw it across the room. It turns out there was a very big roach crawling on my face. (I need to mention here that our house is really really clean. We don’t leave food out ever, and we always take out the trash in a timely manner. We just live by a big field so bugs like to come in for some shade sometimes.) I got up to finish murdering the roach and I put it in my trash can and tried to go back to sleep. The roach’s nerves were still firing off or something so there was noise going on in my trash can since it’s lined with a noisy plastic bag. I got up and put the bag in the kitchen garbage can and tried again to go back to sleep. Just as I was dozing off a guy came over to fix our broken air conditioner, so the dog began to bark forever. This morning I was not destined to sleep in late as I had hoped.

A few weeks ago I decided to start running again. I have since gone about 6 or 7 times total, and every time I’ve gone I get chased by a dog. They’re always pretty big and always very fast, and it has been a different one every time. I found out that we live outside of city limits, so there is no leash law. One time I was running from one and a lady rode past me on a big pink beach cruiser bike with a huge parrot on her shoulder. I thought, “Ahhhh, yeah. The dog’s totally gonna go for that bird lady,” but it was like it didn’t even see her. So the next time I went I decided that I’m bigger than these dogs, so all I have to do is show that I’m not scared of them. Perhaps I should even scare them instead. A dog started chasing me from pretty far away, so I turned and started sprinting directly at it. I think it only made it angrier because it seemed like it started speeding up and barking more. I decided it’d probably be best if I gave up on that idea, so I turned and went the other way. Really fast. A few days later I was driving to work and there were about 5 dogs sitting in a yard, all of them watching me drive by in unison. I think they’re out to get me.

here’s an awesome old picture of my mom in high school. She’s the third from the left.


3 Responses to “two stories”

  1. ssg April 8, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    I am really glad we don’t really get cockroaches in the UK because I would go mental if one was on my face. I have a big fear of insects, so I’d probably die of a heart attack or something just because an insect touched me. Also, I also avoid running in the park near my work because dogs ALWAYS chase me, and that seems to be a park where there are always dogs. Shouldn’t they be on a leash? I feel like shouting at the owners as I run past them and try to climb up a tree. Or on top of a car, or wherever a dog won’t get me. When I visited New York this summer we went to long island and a dog started chasing me from a mile away when I was on a run. I just ran back home, so my run lasted all of 5 minutes. Bloody dogs, sometimes I wish I could run free without fear of being chased. I found it pretty funny when you talked about acting confident. I tried that too once, or at least pretended I wasn’t scared. Didn’t work and just meant I had to stand still and cover my eyes and say “I’m scared of dogs” “I’m scared of dogs” until the owners came and took the beast away. Grrr.

  2. ssg April 8, 2010 at 11:45 am #

    Oh and your mum has a cool expression, I like the way they all have one leg on the wall and the guy has a tshirt saying TEXAS.

  3. Cody Corn July 6, 2010 at 7:21 am #

    Colin, you were always my favorite. Sorry about the dogs, next time try shooting them.

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