Archive | November, 2010


21 Nov

Starting in January I will be working as an intern for the Art Museum of Beaumont doing graphic design work, among other things. I’m so pumped about this. Downtown Beaumont is really awesome and I’m excited to get to spend a lot of time there. Also, I’ll get to add something respectable to my resume.

The fall semester is coming to a close and although it’s been a really good semester for me, I’m glad to get a break. Working 50 hours a week and going to school full time can be hectic. I still have a lot of work to do before December, but I’m sure I’ll manage.

A few months ago a girl at work was talking to me about a guy she goes to school with that looks and acts just like me. So I said “He sounds pretty awesome, and handsome.” Then she said “No, not at all.” Then a few days ago, a different girl took my wallet from me and opened it to examine my driver’s license. She said in the most earnest possible way, and I quote verbatim, “Colin, you are very unattractive.”

Being the ugliest person alive has gotten me thinking… I should feel much better about my accomplishments in life (such as landing the internship at the museum) because I know I didn’t accomplish them based on my good looks, but rather my talents. And believe me, you have to be so freaking talented if you’ve got a mug like this.

I was going to get a new phone recently, but then quickly realized how much debt I’m in. It’s going to be so nice to have all of my stuff paid off, however deep into the future that will be. I have to buy a camera for one of my classes next semester and I’m not too sure how I’m going to pay for it. I’ll probably have to sell the wheels off my car and fashion some new ones with sticks and mud or something.

From the face only a mother could love,


nightmare wife

11 Nov

I had a few very vivid dreams last night. In one dream, I received a very nice camera for free and as a result, I went through half of my day today believing that event had actually happened. Boy was I in for a big disappointment. I also had another re-occurring nightmare about me getting married. It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those, and they’re terrible. They are so incredibly realistic…I feel such intense remorse, sadness and claustrophobia. The nightmares are always a little different, but it’s always the same person I’m supposedly getting married to. In some of them, my dad and mom are physically pulling me down the aisle up to the alter while I’m screaming and crying. Last night’s dream, however, I just locked myself in the dressing room and tried to escape through a window that was much too small for me to fit through. The wedding party started putting snakes under the door to scare me out. My future nightmare wife never seems to have a problem with me freaking out about not wanting to marry her though. As horrible as those dreams are, it’s always such an awesome feeling waking up and realizing it’s not real. I only wish I would have instantly realized the same thing about the free camera.

I’m currently trying to learn actionscript 3.0 on Flash CS5 and it is hard as s**t, especially when you have to pay $450 for a college course to learn it and you end up having to teach it to yourself. Someone help.

4:30 am

1 Nov

I can’t sleep, because if I do I might die. I went to a wedding yesterday that took place in the woods. I was apparently allergic as hell to something out there because my asthma that has been dormant since I was 14 has been re-activated. Therefore, when I start trying to doze off I just stop breathing. This is excellent news for you all, though, because as a result I get to write a new journal post.

The wedding was pretty awesome. Everyone, save a few such as myself, was dressed in either traditional Scottish garbs, Musketeer uniforms, weird zebra or Futurama costumes. A single bagpipe played during the ceremony. It was like being taken back into olden Scottish times, if Scottish people from the olden days really really liked anime. At the reception there was a ton of great food, including 5 lb. turkey legs. I took one of those home. I think it might feed me for close to a week.

On the way home from the wedding there was a wreck at the bottom of the bridge that I have to drive across to get to my house. Traffic was backed up all the way across it, and it’s a pretty big bridge. I was stopped at point on the bridge that was pretty high up, and was there for about 45 minutes. It was nice just sitting outside of my car listening to music and feeling the breeze.

I have found a way to become as unproductive as possible in every way, and I will share this information with you now;

STEP 1: Buy a computer game you like.

That’s it. If you want to be productive and motivated to partake in worthwhile activities, don’t do that thing. I have been following this journal lately, so everything I do now seems lame in comparison. I need to do something adventurous as soon as my busy schedule of boring things allows.

Now I need to find something to do to keep me awake until I have class, or I’ll slip into Death’s icy embrace. Perhaps I’ll play that computer game I like.